Dear Food Network….

Tonight I was thinking…while I was whipping up a batch of stir fry….

I think I need to get in touch with these guys…

They need me…although they may not know it…

They need me to help them GET REAL.

As I was chopping, saute-ing (is that a word?), dicing, slicing, peeling, I began to realize what I do in the kitchen everyday IS reality TV.  What they show on the Food Network is not…

Does the Food Network, show a mommy in the supermarket, three little ones in tow, bribing the middle child with a newly opened box of animal crackers…?  Just so she can get her shopping done?

Do they follow around a mommy in the supermarket, with her buggy loaded to the top when the oldest suddenly HAS to go potty…?  Your purse is, of course, buried under all of the food so you can’t leave it outside the bathroom, and you can’t take the full cart INTO the bathroom…where are those Food Network cameras then?

Where are the cameras when you finally make it to the parking lot and try to decide who/what you want to put in the car first…the groceries that you just paid $200 for or the cute little kids that you gave birth to?

Then, are the Food Network cameras around when you pull up in the driveway with a car loaded with groceries and three little ones who fell asleep on the 5 minute trip home when it is NOT their nap time?

Then as you begin to cook, are up to your elbows in raw chicken, it’s that exact moment that your toddler announces he is poopy…I ask you, do they show THAT on the Food Network?

What about putting a great meal on the table without the hair and makeup crew, without the fancy cookware, heck without a spotless kitchen?!?!

Do those Moms on Food Network often feed their family on paper plates because of the thought of having to wash anymore dishes than absolutely necessary?

Well, I’ll tell you…I might not be able to chop like one of those fancy stars, I might not have fancy pewter measuring cups like Paula Deen, all of my ingredients are not strategically placed in the front of the fridge but when the Food Network is ready to get real they can just give me a call.

I’ll be sure to answer if  I’m not busy changing a diaper…

Until next time,
The Next Food Network Star…

3 thoughts on “Dear Food Network….

  1. HA! Love this!!!

    They should totally follow you and call the show “The Real Housewives of the Kitchen” (yea, I'm not very creative)

    and girl I so feel ya about the grocery store…never fails, someone always has to go potty, always


  2. What about them showing the after effects as well…do they show that after you've spent all this time shopping and preparing the meal 3 out of 5 of your family says “eeewww, I don't like that…” Plus, that 2 of them have to potty in the middle of dinner and 1 only will eat the food if it's separated and on the table instead of her plate? or of course that it looked beautiful on their plates until the glass of Chocolate Milk is spilt all over the food, table, and of course the floor you had time to mop today as well. :O)


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