Are you one of those moms who has it all worked out in your head…how things are going to go?
I over think things and have my ideal scenario mapped out in my head for everything!
- How my week will go…..
- How a grocery store trip will go….
- How giving birth will go….
Now to be honest, I don’t always share those expectations with others around me but I darn sure expect them to be on the band wagon….
But boy, have my expectations been turned on their ear lately!
I expected Bryan to accomplish this great long honey-do list while he was home after the baby was born…..
Yeah, that didn’t happen…we spent almost that entire two weeks in the NICU.
I expected to enjoy almost a month home with our new little one and then start our journey of year round homeschooling in July….
I had planned to start yesterday…Ellie in second grade and Ethan in kindergarten….uuuhhhhh, that did not happen.
I had planned for the kids to take swimming lessons again this year, spend lots of time at the pool slathered in SPF 1200 (we are some fair skinned folks)….
Uhhhhhh, yeah…again, not happening…there’s always next year.
I expected to just slap my newborn baby in my baby sling and just go on with life as usual….
Until I had a heart baby…that the doctors told me not to over stimulate by holding excessively…..uggghhhh…..
I expected to successfully breastfeed our new little one, just as I have always done, with no issues of course.
Well, then I had Neely…Miss “Falls Asleep at the Thought of Breast-feeding”….instead my days are filled with pumping and bottle feeding….
I expected to see lots of friends while we were at RMC in Anniston, get to catch up with my favorite lactation consultants at the hospital and of course have everyone sign our guestbook to record their visit for our sweet baby’s scrapbook.
Instead, our sweet girl caught the first ambulance out of dodge and headed to Birmingham…needless to say, I was not concerned in the least with a sign in sheet for visitors….oh, how our priorities change!
Yet again, I know that God is teaching me that His plan is best…why must I insist on doing things my way?
Why do I get so caught up in having the perfect birth experience, the perfect hospital stay, the perfect “baby experience”?
Never once have I thought about the fact that maybe the whole reason I was at THAT hospital on THAT day was to be able to share with ONE person about my Savior….
Maybe that’s the whole reason we were at UAB…to share our faith with a nurse, the guy who fixed my lunch, a janitor or another parent of a NICU baby…
Maybe our whole experience didn’t go as I had planned so that God could show out…
So that He would get the glory for sweet Neely’s life…so that I didn’t claim that everything went just “right” because of my superb planning skills….
I always wonder why God is teaching me the same thing over and over but it’s obvious that I’m not a fast learner…He has to keep going over the same lesson. Good thing He loves me….
I am learning in these days at home to trust in God’s plan for my life….that I can not always control things….I have certainly learned that through Neely’s feeding struggles….God has a plan and He doesn’t need to consult me first…He’s got it all under control.
I pray that our family is obedient to the “divine appointments” that God schedules in our lives. We are meeting new people constantly through our experiences with Neely…I pray that we recognize the needs of others, that we are bold to share our faith and equally bold to give God ALL the glory for what He accomplishes in Neely’s life.
My expectations may have not worked out exactly as I had planned but I am thankful for the beautiful story that God is unfolding in our lives with our sweet, special girl….
One thing that hasn’t changed are my expectations for our newest little blessing, Neely.
I expect her to be the light of our lives, just as her brothers and sisters are…
I expect lots of hugs and kisses from her…
I expect her to be Daddy’s girl…just like her sisters…
I expect her to grow and learn at God’s pace for her life…not mine…
Until next time,