Elephant In The Room…..

As a mom of a little one with special needs, each day brings new challenges and exciting milestones…

I am so grateful for all of the little things that Neely does that I took for granted with my other babies.

I was NOT one of those moms, who wrote down every baby milestone on the calendar.  I rationalized to myself…would I really care when Ethan was 50, the exact day he crawled or walked?  Would I care, years from now when Roo ate her first bananas or when Ellie got her first haircut?

Obviously my babies reached all those milestones, whether I was recording dates or not.  I just can’t remember when certain teeth came in, when they rolled over or how much they weighed at age 2.

I’m not a bad mom, I just have a terrible memory.  Ha!

But Neely….we may throw a PARTY for each milestone!!!

She has been rolling both ways for a while now and sitting up is our next big goal.  I can not tell you how anxious I am for her to sit up.  Only because I know it will change her entire perspective on the world.

Can you imagine spending your days lying down?

Yeah, me neither.

I can’t wait to see her sit to play with her toys, follow her siblings with her eyes and head as they dart around the room…..

That day is coming sweet Neely…we are going to get there.  And mommy will be so excited….and I promise you sweet girl,  I’ll put the date on the calendar….or at least post it on Facebook…. 🙂

While I’m talking about milestones, often no one wants to talk about the milestones that are further down the road.  We don’t want to think about our babies growing up, graduating high school, getting married…..

We want them to stay little….

While at the same time wanting them to grow up, experience life and be successful at whatever God calls them to.

Well, for parents of kids with special needs….this may look very different….

I think, I am safe to say, that every parent of a child with special needs, specifically Down syndrome, would not agree with my thoughts on Neely’s future.

I want to see her graduate from high school…if that is God’s plan for her….

I want to see her get married…if that is God’s plan for her….

I want to see her become a mother…if that is God’s plan for her…

There’s where the dilemma comes in…many parents of children with special needs are all about their child getting the same opportunities as every other person on the planet…

Except when it comes to dating, marriage and child-bearing…..

I am not naive enough to think that Neely might not need help and maybe lots of it….but if that’s God’s plan for her life, who am I to decide that she can’t do it?

The last time I checked my Bible, it never said anything about people with Down syndrome not being able to marry or have children.

I want Neely to experience that love and companionship that her Daddy and I do.  I want someone to be willing to peel her shrimp, watch late night tv with her and cook her pancakes on Saturday morning. I want Neely to know the overwhelming joy of being a mother…that feeling that is indescribable….unless you’ve actually experienced motherhood….

Who are we or you to stand in her way?

Could she give birth to a typical child? Certainly!

Could she give birth to a child with Down syndrome? Certainly!

And what would be wrong with that?  Neely is made in God’s image just as you and I are….

Who’s to say God doesn’t look just like my sweet Neely…

Who’s to say what God’s plan is for her life…. maybe it’s to be an awesome wife and mother!

Maybe it’s to live a nice long life with mommy and daddy or to grow up among friends in a group home or to have her own apartment?

Who knows?

I do know this…

We’ll do our best to prepare Neely for the life God has planned for her…

I’ll teach her how to load the dishwasher and cook a grill cheese….

Her Daddy will teach her how to change a tire and cut her own grass…

She’ll learn to love others through the love of her siblings…..

And maybe one day…she’ll have a few special people of her own in her life to love….

Maybe she’ll find her own David…..

Until next time,

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