You ever have one of those days (or weeks) where everything seems to make you angry….
No excuse, I know….”you choose to be angry”…blah, blah, blah…..
But sometimes, that’s what life deals you and it takes you a while to move past the anger…
I have had a few of those days this past weekend….
I’m struggling with forgiveness…I guess because I feel like I need someone to be angry WITH….
A few weeks ago, Bryan and I were surprised and elated to find out we were expecting Baby #5.
This past weekend, I miscarried.
Who am I angry with, you ask?
Am I angry with God because of this sad turn in our story? No, absolutely not….I know my God loves me and that He has a plan for me and for our family. I know “All things work together for good for those that love the Lord.”
Who am I angry with? People in general, I guess…
As is always the case when I am expecting, I was chomping at the bit to tell anyone who would listen!
I told a few friends and the overwhelming majority of them were excited with me. Many hugs, congratulations and genuine agreement that a new baby was a blessing.
Then there were “the few” that met my announcement with a look of sheer shock on their faces.
Here is where my anger begins to come into play…..
I can not FATHOM, why anyone would not be excited about the upcoming arrival of a new baby!
We only knew we were expecting for a few weeks….
A lot can happen in a few weeks….
In a few weeks….
- you can begin to dream of baby names….
- you can start to plan a really cool way to tell your kids and your parents about your new little one…
- you can begin to imagine who your new little one will look like…
- you can begin to ponder how much you would love another “Daddy’s girl” and at the same time imagine how much your only son would love to have a baby brother….
- you can change the dates on your big family vacation, so you won’t have to worry about delivering a baby in the middle of the Magic Kingdom….
- you can become excited about your youngest child with special needs having a buddy, someone to motivate them, someone to learn alongside them….
- you can even become excited about the thought of having a great reason to dig out your comfy maternity capri pants….
“Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.” ~ Corrie Ten Boom