If I have learned nothing else through adoption, I have learned that change is inevitable. And you better get used to it with China.
I have learned that adoption is a ROLLER COASTER of emotion….like seriously. A roller coaster.
Just when you think you have it all figured out….BAM. Something changes. It is exhausting. Physically…mentally…emotionally.
Trying to find God in the crazy takes up most of my time. Sometimes I feel like I really have to search for Him. Then I remember He is in the seat right next to me.
Remember when you rode in the front seat of the car next to your mom? If she had to slam on the brakes, her arm shot out and held you back so you didn’t even lean forward an inch.
Today that’s where I am. Sitting next to God on the roller coaster of adoption….His arm is stretched out in front of me, holding me back.
Because He had to slam on the brakes….
Late last night I received this email.
This email meant we COULD for sure fly out on Christmas Day. I woke up Bryan to tell him. I told the kids we were DEFINITELY leaving on Christmas Day. My mind began to whirl with the logistics that needed to fall into place to get us out the door on Christmas. The confirmation of this consulate appointment above meant that we might could even fly out of China on the following Wednesday and come home EARLY!! Bonus!!!
Then I get an email from our guide.
He says STOP…..do not book any flights. This appointment will not work. You are going to have to change it to a later time.
I will spare you all of the details. It is long and drawn out. You would be bored to tears I’m sure.
Here it is in a nutshell…
We can not leave on Christmas Day. Well, we CAN but it doesn’t make sense to now.
It makes much more sense to leave on January 1st.
All morning long, I have been staring down the hallway of leaving on the 25th and I have watched God close each door on that long hallway…one by one. He’s not slamming them. He is just quietly pushing them closed.
Ok, God. I’m listening.
There is a reason He wants us to go later.
- Flights will be a bit cheaper.
- We have more time to hear back about the waiver we have requested.
- We most likely get to cross paths with AMAZING friends in China now.
- We will have one more paycheck in our hands before travel.
- We will fully enjoy Christmas with our little ones at home.
Can I honestly tell you that looking at that list…I don’t even care about one of those things….not really. Hard to say but it is the truth.
None of those things matter today…right in this moment.
I just want to go get our son.
I want to scoop him up…tell him that he is loved…that he will never be without the love of a family again…and kiss those sweet cheeks.
I want to get to KNOW him.
What makes him giggle? What food does he like to eat? Does he snore? What is his favorite color? What size clothes does he wear?
I just want to go.
Like right now.
But I can’t.
And it hurts.
It hurts my heart more than I could ever describe.
But now we must shake it off, suck it up and accept that we are going later than expected. We have requested a new consulate appointment for January 11th, which if granted, means we could leave the U.S. on January 1st. It also means we could potentially fly out on Wednesday to come HOME instead of Friday the 15th. This would be HUGE. By this second week in China you are just ready to come HOME.
Please continue to pray with us:
- Pray that the orphanage Director grants our waiver.
- Pray that we get our first consulate appointment choice of 1/11/2016.
- Pray for low airfares…they were looking BAD this morning when I called the travel agent.
- Pray for me to be able to FOCUS and get everything done here that I need to so we can GO!
Thank you for taking this journey with us. We are so grateful for your love and support. I am so thankful for each time you ask about our process. I am thankful that you have prayed for us this last year without ceasing. I am thankful to those of you who have been just as excited as out family to see John Preston come home. You will never know how much each of you means to us.
We have learned so much on our journey of adoption. I pray that you have learned something too.
I pray that you have seen God as FAITHFUL. I pray that you have seen God as PRESENT. I pray that you have seen God PROVIDE and move these mountains that have been set before us….because friends, He HAS. We started with nothing but a desire to bring our son home…and God has provided over and over again. To God be the glory!