It’s hard to believe that we have had John Preston for 22 days. After pursuing him for basically an entire year….Gotcha Day could not come soon enough.
Right now, all six of my babies at home are playing in the playroom…I hear talk of playing “library” and “Star Wars museum”. They are definitely my children.
I hear the occasional yelling out because someone didn’t get their way, but for the most part everyone is working to get along.
I just needed to sneak away…to get a break. So here I am with my trusty laptop updating our blog. Sleep is still my nemesis. It wants me to drift off early and rise even earlier. I am fighting back with all I have but I just can’t seem to win. And truth be told I am too tired to care. How terrible is that? I am counting down the days until I have been home two weeks….praying that I can snap out of this. Two weeks is how long it took me last time….one day for every hour of time difference between here and China. Jet lag is no joke. It is not for the faint of heart. If I cursed, I would interject a few choices words here about jet lag, but I don’t….so I won’t. You get the picture.
As I type this, I have fed all six children a thrilling breakfast of cheese toast and peaches from a can. If you know me, then you know this would not be my first choice of breakfast for my crew…but today it will do. Because right now, getting by is the name of the game. I have managed to load the dishwasher with last night’s dinner dishes along with this morning’s breakfast dishes. Score 1 for mom. I have managed to start a load of laundry because I am desperately missing my favorite jeans and they were in the dirty clothes hamper. Thankfully, I can hear them spinning in the drier. Today I will get to wear my favorite jeans instead of yoga pants or pajama bottoms. Today will be a good day.
Bryan returned home Saturday after a week in Las Vegas but is back at work today. So here we go. If I can get us all ready to get the girls to therapy today and get Ellie to ballet, I will most likely feel as if I have conquered Mt. Everest.
My iPhone reminded me today that I have added 49 items to my to do list. I think they are the same 49 items that were there a week ago when I got home. They can continue to sit there. I have a mounting list of “to-dos” around here, along with scheduling all of John Preston’s appointment with specialists. Oh how I WISH I had done that BEFORE I left for China. If you have a child with a special need, you know exactly how much fun it is to spend an entire day on the phone coordinating multiple appointments. Let me just tell you…it is not fun. But I will get it done.
John Preston is doing well. He seems a bit overwhelmed most days but seems to go with the flow. We are staying close to home and trying to keep his world small. He has grieved absolutely zero. As an adoptive momma, this worries me….has he formed attachments in the past to caregivers? Was he attached to his foster mom? Does he KNOW how to love and bond?
I don’t have any of those answers today. Only time will tell. He can be really sweet. He wants to reach out and hug us and give us a kiss on the cheek from time to time. But not sure how much of that is him just making sure he going to get the next meal that is due him and how much of that is true affection. I truly think it is hard to tell with a child with Down syndrome. They can often be overly affectionate by nature….so how much is true affection and how much is survival mode? Just hard to tell.
He has calmed down a bit since we have been home. China was truly overwhelming for the both of us but for completely different reasons. I do feel like his wild actions might have been his way of coping with the trauma of being removed from all he ever knew. Still did not make it any easier of course but with adoption, you just have to roll with the punches and get home.
He still feels like a house guest in a way. No way to know how long it will be before that changes. I imagine it just comes with older child adoptions a lot of the time. It is so hard to explain….to love someone so much but to not really KNOW them. Our experience was completely different with MinLan so this time around we are learning as we go.
Thankful to have John Preston home and be able to begin the process of getting to know each other. It will take a while before we all begin to feel normal again….whatever normal really is. We are so thankful to each of you.
Please continue to pray for us. Don’t stop just because the process of “adoption” is over. Now the hard work really begins.
Thank you to those who have supported us by bringing meals….you have no idea what a blessing that has been. We are s thankful for you! God bless!