Honesty is important between friends, right? Can I be honest and say that today, being the parent of children with special needs was hard.
Holding back tears at ballet today was hard.
Today was the parent observation day for our little girls at ballet. It’s a chance for them to show you all the things they have been learning and they have a fun little spring picnic with yummy goodies. Always lots of fun.
I knew that I wanted my little girls to take ballet. I knew they would love all things “pink”…love the leotards and the tights…love the music and being with friends.
I knew it would be harder for them than for the other little girls. But in the back of my mind, I never doubted that they would “get it”.
My girls are different. We shout from the rooftops that they are “more alike than different” and they are. But there is an undercurrent of “different”.
Today felt like a neon sign was flashing “different” over my little girls.
I so wanted today to be the day that they were the “same”. The day that they would blow me away with how far they have come and what they have learned.
But today just wasn’t that day.
Their class is fun, they adore it.
Their teachers are amazing and they love them.
They had on their pink leotards, tights and shoes.
But it just didn’t happen.
No matter how much I wished for it. No matter how much I wanted today to be full of sameness…it was full of difference.
I’m home now and I can cry while I’m waiting on the oven to heat up to cook a frozen pizza.
I just wanted you to know that there are hard days.
I love to share the fabulous and amazing days…the days when we have small victories that make us cheer BIG.
The days when they do something cute or funny and brighten our day.
But there are days that we are reminded that things are hard for our little ones. Days when it hurts to be their mommy. Not because they aren’t perfect and amazing….because they are…that and so much more.
It’s just that us mommas of little ones with special needs are human too. We hurt when things don’t go like we hoped they would…
My girls had a wonderful time today…they got to enjoy their yummy treats and shine in all of their pink glory….and in the end that’s all that matters…I just have to keep reminding myself….